A Real Live Preacher, Faith, and Skepticism

I came across this site recently and it struck me as an amazingly well-thought out, well written, deeply-rooted blog about Christianity. It never gives me a bad tingly feeling that some skeptic blogs do, but there's a healthy dose of skepticism in there to make me think.

Now, I'm not good at being skeptic, however. In my darkest nights, faith is still present. Present being the key word. I ask myself now, what kind of faith are we talking about? Am I truly faithful to God? Am I truly faithful to what He has done and said?

Now: This is not a "is there a God" type post. I've never doubted God's existence for longer than a few minutes at a time. Har har har. Funny. The mediocrity of that is quite disgusting, but it's truer than some people think. The utter thought of me sayign that would have made me puke a few months back. Yet, here I am, saying it.

What's going on? Why am I questioning my own faith? I'm not questioning God. I'm questioning myself.

Is the belief/knowledge of the existence of God the most important thing? Or is the faithfuil adherence to a Christian life more important? Or are they equals? Or have I gotten everything messed up and I don't know what the hell I'm saying?

To tell the truth, I've been wandering away from God's hand for the last few months. I know that God exists, I know that He's there, but I'm not really thinking, feeling, and in short, showing a piss-poor epidermical-level type of faith. A skin-deep kind. Is this the type of faith the Bible wants? Obviously not, or else why would I be even asking questions? But where are the answers? What must I do? Frankly, I suck at praying consistently. I've tried it for years. Yet, each time I end up forgetting.

I don't know. I don't have any answers. *sigh*. Don't you hate it when you don't know shit, and you can't do shit either?